vw golf gti, vw corrado and vw polo tuning and styling - with Matey-Matey

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 ::: Audi S4 ::: 

This is not your typical dub and it doesn't even have an extensive list of mods. Come to think of it, it is still running the factory wheels and standard suspension. However, do not be fooled, this is one serious motor that has a standard spec sheet impressive enough to give most modded dubs an absolute pasting. It is brutal yet refined; understated yet to those in the know it is a complete beast. Best of all is that it belongs to a mate of mine so I have grabbed some pics and will explain how M5 CHP came about.



At the time of writing this car has been in my mate Simon's hands for all of three days. I received a call two weeks ago to say that he had found a great car and was going all the way to Brum to look at it. As Simon has a rep for exaggerating/bullshitting I assumed that this was yet another case of "I have seen this great Porsche and I'm going to buy it tomorrow" syndrome, which never seems to make it past the propping up the bar phase. However I was stunned when I was told that the deal had been done and would I like to go and pick it up with him the next weekend. Never having been for a blast in an S4 before I thought it would be too good to miss so we set off on the Friday night in the old Z3 and made Brum (160 miles later) in time for a few brews before last orders.

We set off the next morning to pick it up and were not disappointed when we arrived. The car had been well prepared and serviced and whilst I am not a fan of dealerships (they charge too much and always try to rip me off) I have to confess to being pleasantly surprised by their high level of service and efficiency. Everything was in order including the cherished plate transfer of M5 CHP (a throwback to ownership of a 316 that wished it was an M5). After a swift check of the car we set off on the 160mile return trip.

My first comment was shiiiiiiiiiiit!!! This is fast but in the words of a motoring hack I should say that the performance was astounding with torque that would pull president Bush's better looking daughter from this side of the pond. Anyway you get the picture. The twin turbo V6 puts out 265 Bhp@ 5800 but more impressive is the torque figure of 295 ft/lb @ 3600. It is this mountain of torque, which drags the car by its balls from 0 to 60 in 5.5 secs and on to a limited 153 mph. The refinement levels are so high that the sprint to 60 doesn't seem as quick as it is and it takes a cursory glance at the Speedo to confirm that warp factor 5 has been reached. What is impressive if the way that the car accelerates from 80 to 130mph (allegedly) as this feels like engaging the hyperdrive on the millennium falcon. It does it with a brutal disregard for the laws of physics and woe betide anyone this side of an M5 that thinks they could "have it" up the motorway. The torque kicks in early and smooth causing the car to surge forward until it is time to try the next of the six gears, at which point your license is almost definitely running the risk of extinction.

As for the rest of the car, well the interior is clad in the finest black leather with a carbon fibre trim strip running around the dash which itself is adorned with a few discrete Quattro and S4 badges just in case you didn't work it out from the performance. There is a rather swanky leather rimmed sports steering wheel and an optional Bose stereo that would knock spots off most ICE installs (but then as a 1000 optional extra you would expect it to). 

The 17in wheels finish the exterior and perfectly complement the tidy badge work and bumper mouldings. The exterior says Q-car and the performance matches with the overall image being that of a top of the range saloon. This makes it even funnier when you blow unsuspecting mortals like myself away from the lights.

We arrived back in sunny Kent exhilarated and surprised that we had been in the car for over 2 hours such is the level of comfort. Our only concern was the trip computer which tried to tell us that that we had averaged just 20mpg (on a relatively sedate motorway journey). Unfortunately the fuel gauge backed this up so next time we will just tack it to the max mark with some chewing gum cos it must be lying.

I am trying to convince Simon that he wants to chip the car and then maximise his newfound booooost with a slightly larger exhaust and some free flow air filters. He doesn't seem convinced but he will be taking it down the strip at some of the shows this summer so watch out!

::: Tech Spec :::

Engine : 2.7l V6 with twin turbos and twin intercoolers, producing 265Bhp and 295 ft/lb.

Transmission : 6 speed manual

Interior : Full leather, sports steering wheel, Climate, air con, Bose stereo, 6 disc multichanger

Exterior : 17in alloys, S4 bumpers and side mouldings, half clear rear lights, S4 badging front and rear.

Brakes : BIG!

Stats : Power to weight ratio 178Bhp per ton, Weight 1512kg,

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